Creativity is allowed to be off-brand.
Photoshoot by my dear friend Kayla
I think there is a paranoia around cohesion that can be incredibly debilitating, preventing you from making things, preventing you from enjoying things, because you fear that they don’t work with who you are. Or they don’t work with who people think you to be.
I used to know a young man who worked in investment, who desperately wanted to write books, write short stories. He was good. His writing was invigorating. And year by year, he wrote less and less. He’d tell me that he was worried about how the folks he worked with would perceive him, if they knew about this side that didn’t gel with the numbers and the money, that didn’t blend in with the business and the grinding, turning gears of the bank.
Sometimes I wonder how many people like him there are out there. Caught between wanting to express themselves creatively, and being bound by the rhythms, rules and unspoken customs of their jobs, their circles, their families, their beliefs, the pens and cages that give them only enough freedom to move, but never enough to live.
I’d imagine there’s a great many.
I’ve been one of them.
How could I write, write the way I wanted to, when I was scared half to death that the startups and funds and tech companies I work with would be scared away by vulnerability, by words with no connection to technology or scale or growth? How could I make music, with the worry that folks wouldn’t want to work with me or take me seriously because of it?
I don’t know how people would have reacted. But in a less cosmic frame of mind, I can only assume that they wouldn’t have given a flying fuck. Humans have a way of making ourselves believe that everything is far more significant than it really is, and I am certainly guilty of that.
These days, I couldn’t care less what people think. I don’t see why I ought to. It won’t change how mustard tastes, and it won’t affect my self worth. It won’t even impact my shelf life. I have a limited amount of time left on this planet, as we all do, and I refuse to spend it being well behaved and fitting into a mould and avoiding the full depth of my own creative impulses in pursuit of a more shallow professional or personal acceptance.
Over the past few weeks, I can say that my creative output has become stronger, more independent and more fulfilling than ever. It’s not on-brand. It doesn’t have a brand. It’s whatever I want it to be, whatever I feel like making, whenever I have the energy and the time. It’s me.
This blog is one manifestation of it. A no frills, no holds barred journal of my writing and my thoughts, that could not be further away from the concept of “content” - it’s my new favourite place to be.
But beyond that, the open source Transgender inclusion policy is something I am so proud to have made:
I am going to push it harder again this week and try to get some real commitments from as many technology companies as I can.
I also made some new music this week.
Skateland EP
https://soundcloud.com/shehersydney/sets/skateland
Garden EP
https://soundcloud.com/shehersydney/sets/garden
Animal Liberation EP
https://soundcloud.com/shehersydney/sets/animal-liberation
xox Joany 🍕